Monday, May 6, 2013

I hate getting old but I'm still rocking

I hate getting old.

I have the world's worst hair.  It's more like straw.  I used to have this long mane of hair, thick
and envied.  Now I look like the version of the scarecrow from Wizard of Oz.  My young 20 something daughters tsk, tsk me.  It's why they call me "Frankenmom."  If I don't comb my hair when I get out of bed, it sticks up everywhere. It is downright scary.  I've seen it!  And, then I've got this thinning hair in the front.  Last fall everyone old woman I saw in Germany had the same thinning going on.  Yuk.

Norah Ephron hated her neck.  Me too.  It's all wrinkly with those skin tags and a double chin.  Do
you know that over your life time your nose grows.  I didn't know that until I read about the
returning serviceman who kissed this woman in Times Square after WWII ended.  They aged his
face and grew his nose.  How disgusting is that?

Let's talk sagging breasts.  I remember when I was in my 40's and a friend remarked about us "full breasted" women.  What did that mean?  Oh, yeah, it's the kind that comes after breast feeding but don't go away.  In my 20's when all the young women would go braless because that was the fashion, there was the rule that if you could hold a pencil under your boob, you shouldn't because you have too much.  I did.  It's why I always hated running.  Too much frontal action.

How about the wing flaps?  You know that saggy part under your upper arms.  You know you're in trouble when you try on a blouse and it's tight.  When did that Happen?

Now that I've covered the old body, let's talk the mind.  Sheesh, I hate forgetting names, dates and what stories I've already told.  It's always the really good stories that I want to tell again but nobody wants to listen.

Now let's talk music and us old ladies liking younger male artists.  I recall when my cousin and I wanted to see Danny Gokey and her daughter thought we were nuts. (Danny was a 20 something male on American Idol).  I'm the older demographic the marketers hate because we're so old and we got buckets of money but they don't want us.  Those poor guys on Idol;  it's us old women who buy their music and go to their concerts.  They have dreams of young, eager women screaming at their concerts.  Instead they got us.  I recall seeing a comment by David Cook saying he was surprised at his followers' ages, even having a couple of 60 something women purchasing cd's and merchandise from his fan site.  Yeah, Pat Graf, he means you and me.

In my 20's I couldn't afford to go to concerts.  Now I can but I can't wait in line and then stand the whole time at those crazy General Admission Concerts.  So, now, I go and sit in the back with all the old folks.  I sit with David Cook's dad, who is the same age as me.

So, here I am in my 60's, with my thinning, grey hair and sagging body parts, going to rock concerts.
We can rock it out with the best of the youngsters, just in a different way.

But, and here's the best part:   I would never want to go back and relive my life again.  I kind of like where I am.  I do kind of wish I could have taken some of those youthful body parts with me on the journey but I like the wisdom in my face and in my mind.  I did some really dumb things in my 20's and if the dumbest thing I do in my 60's is go to Danny Gokey and David Cook concerts, then so be it.

Rock on.


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